Valentine Tips
Overview
A list of Valentines tips, introduced with the Spring Fling 2012
A Love Struck Rikti
To Kelly Uqua from A Love Struck Rikti...
Hopping along the street is a Rikti monkey with a teal bow tied to his head and a note attached. You capture the monkey, whose particularly vivid odor is a combination of a diet consisting of cheese puffs and energy drinks along with a generous application of popularized men's body spray. The attached note is addressed to Kelly Uqua, it reads:
My heart: Aching.
My knees: Quaking.
Result of your hostility: Harm.
Desired place for you: My arm.
Request: Say yes.
My feelings for you: Confess.
Our love: Forever.
Alone: Never.
This isn't a normal Rikti to Human translation job; its definitely the work of either a human trying to write like a Rikti, or a Rikti who has been studying human language patterns and is trying to write in a more human manner. Either way, it's a Valentine intended for Kelly Uqua involving someone with access to a Rikti monkey... and a particularly stinky Rikti monkey at that.
You could deliver the Valentine to her as intended, or take it to Ambassador Kuhr'Rekt in order to stomp out whatever Human-Rikti relationship is going on here before it starts.
This Valentine could be delivered to Kelly Uqua... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Ambassador Kuhr'Rekt instead.
Kelly Uqua:
Ambassador Kuhr'Rekt:
Desperate Guy
From Desperate Guy to Turndown Girl
You've found a Valentine bag, filled to the brim with every commercially advertised Valentine's Day gift including, but not limited to: A heart shaped box of chocolates, a cuddly teddy bear, scented candles, a mass produced gold necklace with a heart shaped pendant, two tickets to the opera, a bottle of champagne, a bag of heart shaped sugar candies with simple words printed on them, and a confused looking white kitten with a bow on its head and a note attached. It reads:
Every night is like the first I beg and plead I quench your thirst Drinks and lines I've tried in vain Please won't you simply give me your name? I know in my heart that you're the one So one last time I'll try, and then I'm done If you find my gifts to be sweet You know where to find me... the kitten's name is Pete.
This is so desperate only one man could be responsible, that guy in Pocket D. It must be for that girl you see him trying desperately to talk to every night; Turndown Girl. On the other hand, you're pretty sure that War Witch gave that guy dagger eyes the first time he tried to talk to her and he never tried again. Giving the basket to her could lead to some interesting times. This Valentine could be delivered to Turndown Girl... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to War Witch instead.
On the other hand, you're pretty sure that War Witch gave that guy dagger eyes the first time he tried to talk to her and he never tried again. Giving the basket to her could lead to some interesting times.
This Valentine could be delivered to Turndown Girl... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to War Witch instead.
Turndown Girl:
What in the world is all of that?
Turndown Girl glances over the contents of the gift basket for the briefest of moments and then notices Desperate Guy's hopeful look and rolls her eyes.
Wow... this is all really... really... cheap trash! I hope you got a good discount for buying this junk in bulk, because I'm pretty sure you can't return any of it. Oh, here's an idea, go to the university and find a girl there. I'm sure there is at least one of them that hasn't discovered good taste yet.
War Witch:
War Witch just gives you a look as you deposit the gift basket in front of her. She spies the kitten, picks it up and reads the attached note. After a moment she accepts the gifts and motions for you to move along while she quietly opens the box of chocolates and looks around with guilty eyes.
Efficiency Expert Pither
From Efficiency Expert Pither o Olivia Darque
Olivia Darque :
Yes, I know Pither needs the efficiency reports, I'm doing everything I can to get them... Wait... Why doesn't he want me to bring them to his office at 8 pm, that's way after his office normally closes... Oh... Oh! I see... Well, thank you for delivering me this important message, Character.
Synapse
To Synapse from Synapse...
You find a six pack of Paragon Pale Ale with an attached note. It reads:
Hey buddy, Just a reminder from yourself that somebody cares about you: yourself. Here's something to look forward to on Valentine's Day just in case you end up striking out. -Synapse
Hmmm, apparently Synapse has covered all his bases, readying for an apparently uneventful Valentine's Day. You could deliver his present to him, but on the other hand, you've never seen Swan with anyone. At the very least, maybe she would like to kick back with Synapse. And who knows, maybe something will spark.
This Valentine could be delivered to Synapse... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Swan instead.
Synapse:
Hey, alright, what's the occasion?
As you begin to mention the card you realize that it is gone and find that it is burning on the ground not far from you. Synapse gives you a look as if he had nothing to do with that.
Nice of you to bring me this Valentine's gift, Character. Very thoughtful.
Swan:
Swan reads the card and glances to the beverages, then back to the card.
This is so sad. Why hasn't that dummy found a date yet? I mean, sheesh, I'd date him...
Swan gives you a look like, 'did I just say that out loud?'
Right, so... I guess I'll go take these to Synapse then? Thanks, Character.. Wish me luck.
Arbiter Sands
From Arbiter Sands to Mynx
You discover an unsealed manila envelope with the name Mynx scrawled on the front. Inside you find a handwritten letter on nicely textured paper that reads as follows:
Dearest Katherine,
I hope this letter does not reach you too late, and that there is still time for me to explain myself, or rather, to explain the void of my being in your life as of late.
What we had, at least for me, was wonderful, and there is nothing more in this world that I would like than to be with you again. However, as we discussed, things are complicated between us, and the world seems out of my control. My loyalties cannot come into question or it will surely spell my doom, yet here I am, throwing caution to the wind by sending a message to you at all. Please understand that my silence does not mean that I do not wish to speak with you, but rather, it is necessary to ensure I have a chance in the future to see you once more.
Were the spiders on the walls to see or hear of what I feel for you, death would follow swiftly. For both of our sakes, I ask that you wait for me to contact you when it is safe. Do not seek me out for it will endanger us both.
-Sands.
What in the world? This letter suggests that the hero, Mynx, is romantically involved with none other than Arbiter Sands of Arachnos! You should deliver this to Mynx and see if there is any truth to this. On the other hand, if there is truth to this maybe it would be best for the leader of the Vindicators to handle it instead. After all, if Mynx and an Arachnos Arbiter are involved romantically, it could be an issue of life and death that she have the evidence necessary to get to the truth of things. Either way... awkward! This Valentine could be delivered to Mynx... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Ms. Liberty instead.
Deliver to Mynx:
What's that? Mynx eyes the manila envelope with suspicion before opening it and reading the letter inside. About halfway down the letter, she peers at you with fear-filled eyes and demands, Did you read this!? Listen, listen, it's... it's complicated, ok? Love does weird things to a person, and, like, I don't even know if I -am- in love, or if Sands can be trusted, alright? I'm trying to figure things out. I'm not going to betray anybody, I just... I just need to find out what all of this means, where all of this is going... Don't tell Sidechick, she'll flip her lid and probably tell me to spy on Arachnos or something. Argh, I'm so confused about what to do!
Deliver to Ms. Liberty:
Citadel
To Luminary from Citadel
Your cell phone receives a text message from Citadel. It reads:
This binary text translates to: "I have processed this concept for some time and concluded that as two different but equal artificial intelligences that we should combine our collections of information and seek to create something greater than our two parts. Would you be open to the idea of forming a family unit whose purpose is to create and protect a new artificial life form?"
Well, with all the estranged Valentine's scattered around this year you have a feeling this is just a digital signal that accidentally got routed to your cell number rather than to the original recipient.
Luminary might like to have a look at this... or Nightstar. This Valentine could be delivered to Luminary... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Nightstar instead.
Mynx
From Mynx to Arbiter Sands
You discover a carefully folded sheet of college ruled notebook paper with a message written inside with purple ink. Opening it, you read the following:
Sands, I don't know why I'm even writing you. Maybe something about the holiday convinced me to give this thing between us another shot. Either way, I can't help but feel like we are doing something incredibly dumb here. What if someone in Arachnos or the Vindicators finds out?
I'll be at Pocket D tonight and would like it if you at least stopped by for a drink so we can talk.
If you want to get together, I'm willing to keep us a secret for a little while longer, at least until I've figured out how to tell Megan. If not, well, we both know which side we're on.
Love,
-Katherine.
Vindicators? Katherine? Megan?
Oh dear, this sounds like Katherine, as in, Katherine Stevens, the fiesty feline femme fatale known as Mynx, is involved romantically with Arbiter Sands. Surely Sands would see fit to reward you well for bringing him this lost Valentine instead of broadcasting the news of his potentially traitorous fraternization with the enemy all over Rogue Island Television.
The choice is yours: Blackmail the Arbiter or betray him to the media?
This Valentine could be delivered to Arbiter Sands... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Television instead.
Arbiter Sands:
(in Sands' latest posting)
[NPC] Arbiter Sands: Yes yes, hail Arachnos, hail Recluse, whatever.
[NPC] Arbiter Sands: Status report, now.
[NPC] Arbiter Sands: I don't want to be here all day.
Arbiter Sands unfolds the note and reads it. He sighs and looks to you.
I assume you intend to try and blackmail me with this? Good luck with that. Firstly, to do so would be an 'attack' on an Arbiter, which, as you well know, would be an attack upon Lord Recluse himself. But that is besides the point. The point is, what for Katherine was perhaps one of the most memorable nights of her life, filled with danger, mystery, and romance, was just a Tuesday night for Arbiter Sands. My relations with Ms. Stevens and subsequent rejection is more damaging to her than any physical combat she has ever been in and is all part of my plan to weaken the Vindicators.
Now then, repeat after me: Hail Arachnos, Hail Lord Recluse, blah, blah, etc, etc.
I'm glad we had this talk.
Television:
Professor Echo
A wrinkle in time forms before you and out of it floats a plain white sheet of paper with a very simple message on it which reads:
Dear Dr. Carl Egon,
Your experimentation into dimensional and temporal transportation has resulted in me, Professor Echo, being able to send this message back through time to myself, back when I was known as you, Carl Egon. Hard to believe, I know, but let me prove it to you so you can understand that the rest of this message is to be not only believed, but obeyed. Try recalculating your time travel equations by replacing the constant 'C' with a variable based on the age of the universe from the origin period and the destination period.
At any rate, after you recalculate your equations and see that your future self has indeed sent you this letter, I believe you will be ready to hear my warning. You will, in several years time, be compelled to become an agent of Arachnos known as Dr. Aeon. Pursue all possible courses of action to avoid this fate. I am living, future proof that becoming Dr. Aeon is an incredibly bad idea.
What I would recommend instead is for you to step out of your laboratory the afternoon of Tuesday, the 5th of June, 1979, and head to the university quad. Talk to Amy White. She'll be in a pair of jeans, ripped at the knees, and wearing her black leather jacket over that white rock band shirt that we both like so much. She won't have enough change for the vending machine. Instead of offering to pay for the bag of candy she wants, invite her to dinner. Trust me, all three of us thank you for that. -Professor Echo
Interesting. It would appear that Professor Echo has sent a message back in time to a man named Dr. Carl Egon, who according to this message will one day become Dr. Aeon, the governor of Cap au Diable. Unfortunately, the man known as Dr. Carl Egon was executed years ago, you should probably take it to DJ Zero. But you do wonder if maybe Dr. Aeon wouldn't get a kick out of this.
This Valentine is undeliverable as written and ought to be returned to DJ Zero... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Dr. Aeon instead.
DJ Zero:
Doctor Aeon:
(In another secret lab)
[NPC] Dr. Aeon: Alright, who let Character. in here?
[NPC] Dr. Aeon: This is supposed to be a 'secret lab', alright?
HA! Thought you could foil our, I mean, my plans, eh Echo!? Man, I hate that guy!