Rogue Isle Protector

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Revision as of 18:55, 7 July 2009 by imported>Aggelakis (dialog->dialogue)
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Overview

The Rogue Isle Protector is the local newspaper in the Rogue Isles. It also serves as a source of schemes (short missions) that you must accomplish to get more contacts and/or Mayhem Missions from a broker. After a mayhem mission, your broker will introduce you to another contact in the zone.

Each zone's missions apply to the broker in that specific zone.

Some of the missions actually contain your character's name in them. For these missions, the word you has been substituted in place of your character's name.

Getting a Newspaper

After Threat Level 5, a villain may talk to a Broker in any zone to obtain a Newspaper. Once a Villain has a Newspaper, he/ she can use it any time in any Zone appropriate to his/ her Threat Level to scrounge up some work (providing unlimited missions).

Points of note:

  • Villains cannot obtain a Newspaper until reaching Threat Level 5.
  • Villains cannot obtain a Newspaper in Mercy Island.
  • The first zone in which Villains can obtain a Newspaper is Port Oakes. This won't preclude villains from being assigned the Atlas Park Mayhem Mission, so long as they are at or below Threat Level 10.

Attempting to get a mission in a zone that doesn't get a signal will give the following message:

Nothing on this isle catches your eye.

Attempting to get a mission in a zone that is too high of a level will give the following message:

Things here seem a little too difficult for you. Perhaps after you've proven yourself some more and attained a higher Threat Level you could return.

Attempting to get a mission in a zone that is too low of a level will give the following message:

The events here seem to be beneath your notice.

Once a Villain performs so many Newspaper missions within a zone, the completion bar for a Broker in that zone will turn red, indicating that he/ she should talk to the Broker for a special heist - a Mayhem Mission.

  • Villains at Threat Levels 5-15 will need to complete three (3) Newspaper mission in order to get assigned to a Mayhem mission.
  • Villains at Threat Levels 16+ will need to complete five (5) Newspaper mission in order to get assigned to a Mayhem mission.

Types of Newspaper Missions

There are four basic types of missions in the Rogue Isle Protector:

  • Kidnapping Missions
  • Boss Missions
  • Object Missions
  • Heist Missions (since Issue 7)

Kidnapping Missions

The object of a kidnapping mission is to defeat a mob of enemies holding the target person hostage and to lead that target person back out of the mission. Usually, a villain or a team will clear a path to the target person so that fighting on the way out is minimized. Once the mob holding the target person is defeated, several more enemies will typically spawn between the target person and the mission entrance to intercept the villain to team leading the target person out.

The Kidnapping missions sometimes give clues on events in other zones of the Rogue Isles. Those clues can be found in the dialogues between the hostage and the kidnappers. The dialogues are also often funny.

As for the NPC names, sometimes are random and sometimes are kept constant, so I wonder if some of these NPCs will take part in future game events and/or storylines somehow. Time will tell.

Aeon Corps Opens New Lab

Aeon pretends to be Cap au Diable's benign benefactor, but you know better. This new lab of his is a front for something sinister. Maybe something you can use for yourself.

Dialogue: Aeon's new project

Scrounger Slammer: Why did I see a Fortunata come out of this building?
Jared Weiss: We're working in a video monitor that hooks directly into a person's brain. That's all I know. I don't know what he wants with it.
Aberrant Rector: Tell me more. Or else.

(aggroed)

Scrounger Slammer: Villain? What are you doing here? We're not hiring if that's what you've...oof!
Jared Weiss:Oh, great. This will hurt, won't it?
Aberrant Rector: Villain? This isn't what you think

Arachnos Seeks Spy!

A loser named Perry Miller/Luke has been squealing to Longbow. The (VillainGroup) got him first. Nab him and the reward should be quite large.

Dialogues:

VillainMinion: Tell us what you told Longbow, or you will suffer eternal torment!
Hostage: I haven't told anyone anything. I don't even know anything!
VillainBoss: Sh! I heard something!

(aggroed)

VillainMinion: Fool! Your interference will result in your doom!
Hostage: Oh man. This can't be good.
VillainBoss: By Bat'Zul's beard, will no one rid me of this meddlesome villain?!

Arbiter Abducted By You

What the? This is bad. Someone's grabbed an Arbiter and made it look like you did it. It's not that you're afraid of the spiders, just that, well, you'd rather they not interfere in your plans right now--by going back in time and wiping out your entire genetic history. You'd better find this loser and fast.

Dialogue: Arbiter Armstrong

Archer: Hide his uniform. We must move him and I don't want anyone seeing us with an arbiter.
Arbiter Armstrong: You have made a very foolish mistake.
Ruin Mage: Quiet. You never know who's listening around here.

(aggroed)

Archer: Villain! Like a moth to flame you are drawn. No matter. This ends tonight, "Chosen One".
Arbiter Armstrong: I hear your doom approaching.
Ruin Mage: Protect Arbiter Armstrong!

Arbiters attacked!

Someone has been casting spells against Arachnos Arbiters. As you know, this is strictly forbidden. A coded ad by one of your contacts in the Rogue Isles Protector says an amateur magician called "Steffan the Magnificent" is responsible. The (VillainGroup) have him now. It wouldn't take you long to take this wizard wannabe from those jerks and collect his bounty for yourself.

Dialogue: Steffan the Magnificent

VillainMinion: This is foolish. We never should have agreed to help you. No one messes with the Arbiters. Not even us.
Steffan the Magnificent: My grudge against Arachnos is deeper than you know.
VillainBoss: Protect the package.

(aggroed)

VillainMinion: Villain has seen Stefan the Magnificent! Don't let this interloper leave here alive or we're all dead!
Steffan the Magnificent: This too, is a part of my plan.
VillainBoss:Stop Villain! This will ruin everything!

Arvin Armaments to unveil new rocket system

Arvin Armaments is the company that originally designed the Warburg rockets. Sounds like they have something new. It wouldn't be too hard for someone of your ability to break into their base and take their plans.

Dialogue: designer Sean Crow and the Mooks

Mook Buckshot: Where are the blueprints, Mr. Crow? We have need of that rocket.
Sean Crow: The blueprints aren't here anymore, I swear!
Mook Capo: I'll make this pigeon talk. Fetch me a comfortable chair. Trust me.

(aggroed)

Mook Buckshot: You're too late, Villain. We were here first. But if it's a fight you want, we're happy to oblige.
Sean Crow: Hey, Villain! Get me away from those creeps and I'll tell you what I know about the rockets!
Mook Capo: Villain! How did you find us? No matter. You'll pay for it now!

Classifieds: Looking for love in all the wrong places

It's a coded message. Fortunately, your Broker told you how to break it. In the Classifieds is a message from Black Scorpion. He's looking for a high-tech inventor to make improvements on his power armor. Find him one and he'll pay handsomely.

Dialogues

VillainMinion: Black Scorpion has need of your services, and we have need of his favor. Come with us.
Kerry Killen: You want me to WHAT? Work on Black Scorpion's suit?
VillainBoss: Tell me again about Villain.

(aggroed)

VillainMinion: We found her first, Villain. Back off.
Kerry Killen: You don't have to be so rough. Let's talk money.
VillainBoss: You will pay for your interference, Villain!

Classifieds: Rats for Sale. Contact Richard Ellsworth

That's a coded message from your Broker. Some guy/girl named Richard Ellsworth/Jane Adatta has been selling secrets to the (VillainGroup), and there's a reward on his/her head.

Dialogues

VillainMinion: You programmed the system and this is all you know? I think not.
Hostage: Look, I told you all I know. The access code is--did you hear something?
VillainBoss: I'll make this pigeon talk. Fetch me a comfortable chair. Trust me.

(aggroed)

VillainMinion: Villain! What are you doing here! No matter. You have made a major mistake.
Hostage: Oh, no. This is a major 404 error.
VillainBoss: Ack! You! What are you doing here?

Computer virus hits Rogue Isles

A scrawny little jerk named Haxx0r created a nifty little virus that spread through the isles like wildfire. If you captured him and took the code for yourself it'd be worth a small fortune.

Dialogues

VillainMinion: How did you circumvent Longbow's systems? That's what I truly want to know.
Haxx0r: Everyone wants my code, jerk. What's your offer?
VillainBoss: Protect the package.

(aggroed)

VillainMinion: What are you pointing at? Oh, Villain. I heard you were operating in this area.
Haxx0r: A new bidder. Haw haw (SNORT)! I R0xx0R in my B0xx0rs!
VillainBoss: Protect Haxx0r! Nothing else matters!

Dr. Elissa Montoya Receives Grant

Dr. Elissa Montrose is a famous scientist specializing in super-sonics as weapons. Arachnos just gave her a huge grant. That means she's probably developed a new super-weapon for the spiders, and you want it.

Dr. Marvin Howard kidnapped by Freakshow

The Freakshow raided a local tech firm called Aerodyne Avionics and made off with one of their lead researchers. Publicly, Aerodyne makes airplane parts. Privately, they supply tech to groups like the Sky Raiders and even Arachnos. Whatever Dr. Howard knows is probably worth a fortune.

Dialogues:

VillainMinion: We need those new rocketpacks, old man. You'd better cough up the design. Pronto.
Dr. Howard: Don't threaten me. youngster. King Midas is a personal friend. Who do you think builds the Gold Brickers' jet packs?
VillainBoss: I would hate to think you're lying to us.

(aggroed)

VillainMinion: Oh, crud. Villain.
Dr. Howard: Ha. Villain. I'm sure you're not here to rescue me, but teach these creeps a lesson and I'll make it worth your while.
VillainBoss: Villain. You're late. I expected you sooner.

Dr. Theopolis to Speak on Time Travel

The doctor may not know it, but messing with time is a big no-no in the Rogue Isles. Lord Recluse has quietly made that very clear. If you were to bring this guy to Arachnos, they'd definitely look favorably on you.

Dialogues:

VillainMinion: You made a big mistake. Recluse has been very clear about anyone messing with time. He's got something going on and doesn't want some two-bit nerd like you messing it up.
Dr. Theopolis: I swear I didn't know Lord Recluse had declared time travel off limits!
VillainBoss: Surely you know more than that, Dr. Theopolis.

(aggroed)

VillainMinion: I'm not interested in splitting Recluse's favor with you, Villain. Let's throw down.
Dr. Theopolis: Oh no. Don't tell me you're both here to take me to Arachnos.
VillainBoss: What a pleasant surprise, Villain. I've been wanting to kill you for some time.

Dr. Patricia Vanover publishes findings on you

This uptight shrink has analyzed you for a series on notable villains in the Protector. She says your violent tendencies stem from an unhappy childhood and feelings of inadequacy, and that you suffer from extreme intimacy issues. Words do not describe the rage welling inside you.

Dialogues

VillainMinion: Here's your money. Tell me about Villain's weakness. Is there something we can use to bring this insufferable fool down for good?
Dr. Vanover: Yes. Villain probably suffers from delusions of grandeur as well.
VillainBoss: Surely you know more than that, Dr. Vanover.

(aggroed)

VillainMinion: No! We're not ready for Villain yet!
Dr. Vanover: I've heard that Villain is often called the "Chosen One". Such a belief would do irreparable psychological harm.
VillainBoss: What a pleasant surprise, Villain. I've been wanting to kill you for some time.

"Efficiency expert of evil" said to be working with (Villain Group)

Edward Juarez is known in the underground as the "Efficiency Expert of Evil". He has no superpowers, but is known for drastically improving the effectiveness of criminal gangs. His advice could turn the (Villain Group) into a real problem. Unless of course you kidnap Juarez for yourself.

Dialogues:

VillainMinion: Then what do you recommend?
The Efficiency Expert: No, no. That will never do. Magical protection rackets never work.
VillainBoss: What's the matter? Did you hear something?

(aggroed)

VillainMinion: Curses!
The Efficiency Expert: Hmmm. Villain. This will hamper our business by at least 14 minutes.
VillainBoss: Stop Villain! This will ruin everything!

Freedom Phalanx goes gold!

Jake Emmet is the lead designer on a computer game called "Freedom Phalanx". It's gone gold and looks set to sell a half-a-million copies. That really ticks you off. Time to teach this nerd a lesson.

Dialogue: Jake Emmet meets the fans

Rocketman: Your idiotic game says Statesman humiliated the Goldbrickers in the Diamatrix Plot last year. That's ridiculous. Everyone knows it was a faulty regulator on the device that defeated us!
Jake Emmet: Get your hands off me. Statesman is a personal friend, you know?
Boomer: Surely you know more than that, Jake Emmet.

(aggroed)

Rocketman: We had him first, Villain! Get your own nerd!
Jake Emmet: Statesman! Manticore? Positron? Oh crap. Villain.
Boomer: What a pleasant surprise, Villain. I've been wanting to kill you for some time.

Havoc at the Aeon Hydroponics

Aeon Hydroponics pretends to grow giant-sized foods to better the world, but that's just a front. Everyone knows it's actually a cloning farm. One of the clones has become sentient and escaped. Whoever brings it back will definitely find favor with Lord Recluse.

Dialogue: John Doe and the Goldbrickers

Rocketman: There is a reward for you dead or alive. I suggest you do not tempt us.
John Doe: I'm not a clone! I'm David Wilson from Blackburg, Virginia! I have no idea how I wound up here in the Rogue Isles!
Boomer: Protect the package.

(aggroed)

Rocketman: Villain! I should have guessed you had something to do with this!
John Doe: This is such a nightmare.
Boomer: Villain. I heard you were dead. Or turned into a pile of sentient nanites under control of Doctor Aeon. I can't remember.

Havoc in Dockside!

A four-eyed pencil-pusher named Dr. Plotnik recently ran from the (VillainGroup) through the streets of Port Oakes. They caught the little run after tearing up Docside and are holding him somewhere. If they were desperate enough to be that public about catching him, he must know something worthwhile.

Dialogue

VillainMinion: I want the complete inventory of what Arachnos ordered from you, Dr. Plotnik. Now.
Ramel Plotnik: Arachnos doesn't tell us WHAT they want it for. They just order the devices. I have no idea what they'd need a psychic amplifier for!
VillainBoss: Protect the package.

(aggroed)

VillainMinion: This doesn't concern you, Villain.
Ramel Plotnik: Villain? Perhaps we could make a deal if you can get me out of here.
VillainBoss: Stop Villain! This will ruin everything!

Hero's girlfriend abducted by (VillainGroup)!

Elizabeth Gordon is the Gal Friday of a certain superhero who won't stay outta the Rogue Isles. The (VillainGroup) have her now, but you could easily take her for yourself and ransom her off.

Dialogue: Elizabeth's friend

VillainMinion: That's not your boyfriend, girl.
Elizabeth: Back Alley Brawler is a friend. I barely know him!
VillainBoss: Keep quiet. There's a word Villain is about. Trust me. You'd rather deal with us than that maniac.

(aggroed)

VillainMinion: Villain. What are you doing here?
Elizabeth: I KNEW you'd come for--- HEY! Who are you?
VillainBoss: You'll pay for your interference, Villain.

Hospital patient escapes

Yuk. The (VillainGroup) injected some poor sap with an experimental drug. He escaped and wound up in a hospital, then whacked and orderly and escaped again. The victim is doomed, but whatever toxin is running through his system might be interesting. If you can find him before the (VillainGroup) do.

Dialogue

VillainMinion: There you are, Mr. Degner. Come back to the lab now.
Larry Degner: ...so...hot...fever...
VillainBoss: I would hate to think you are lying to us.

(aggroed)

VillainMinion: You don't want this one, Villain. He's contagious.
Larry Degner: ...help
VillainBoss: Villain. You're late. I expected you sooner.

Interview with a hero: Gigabyte

The article talks about Paul Sanchez, a local who used to be a superhero named Gigabyte. He's in hiding here now, but your people should be able to find him. If he's still got his old gadgets, they'd be quite valuable.

Dialogue:

VillainBoss: It's been 8 years since you put me away, Gigabyte. But I haven't forgotten. Nor forgiven.
Gigabyte: Our fight ended a long time ago. I don't even wear the cape anymore.
VillainMinion: I'll make this pigeon talk. Fetch me a comfortable chair. Trust me.

(aggroed)

VillainBoss: Is this one of your allies, Gigabyte?
Gigabyte: Villain? Did that reporter print my freakin' address or something?
VillainMinion: You'll pay for your interference, Villain!

Janitor sought in industrial espionage

Stealing high-tech secrets from Crey is risky business, so you doubt Herman Lewis was actually a janitor. More likely he was a spy working for the Mooks. Those jokers have been after some of Crey's tech for some time now. You know where they're likely hiding Herman. If you were to catch him, you could find out just what's so valuable, or turn him over to Crey for a fat reward.

Dialogue: Herman and his friends

Mook Muscle: It took you five years to get you in that position. And you leave with little more than a transdimensional device blueprint?
Herman Lewis: It was getting too hot. I had to make my play before the Countess figured out what I was doing.
Mook Capo: It's not the capes I'm worried about. We can handle some idiot do gooder. It's the villains you have to watch out for. They're nuts.

(aggroed)

Mook Muscle: Villain. What an unpleasant surprise.
Herman Lewis: Villain! Protect me!
Mook Capo: What a pleasant surprise, Villain. I've been waiting to kill you for some time.

Local Jeweler Taken by (VillainGroup)

Milton Ives was the last person to have touched the Blood Ruby, a gem said to curse whoever holds it. The (VillainGroup) have taken him to find out what he knows. You'd like to do the same.

Dialogues:

VillainMinion: Where is the Blood Ruby now?
Milton Ives: See? this is proof the thing is bad luck.
VillainBoss: Quiet. You never know who's listening around here.

(aggroed)

VillainMinion: The gem is cursed! It's Villain!
Milton Ives: Yeah. See. I was hoping for Statesman. Stupid curse.
VillainBoss: Excellent. As is as foretold. Now we witness the death of Villain.

Local musician kidnapped!

Cap City Croaker lead singer Emil Wicked was last seen with a gorgeous young groupie. From the description, she sounds like a sometimes operative for the Warriors. If so, they took Wicked and you know where. Little jerk is probably worth something if you keep him alive.

Dialogue: The villains' reasons

Warrior Slammer: We believe that the Wailers of St. Martial are trying to communicate, but we can't decipher their music. That's where you come in.
Emil Wicked: Yeah, I can probably figure out what the wailers are sayin'. If you can get me my equipment.
Slasher Elite: What's the matter? Did you hear something?

(aggroed)

Warrior Slammer:Back off, Villain. We have a contract with the Family. You don't care? Fine. Then we'll make you care.
Emil Wicked: Oh, great. Another supervillain. I'm so happy to be in the middle of this.
Slasher Elite: Villain. I heard you were dead. Or turned into a pile of sentient nanites under control of Doctor Aeon. I can't remember.

Local nurse disappears

Jenny Hise is a nurse at Black Heart hospital. You remember her because she treated you last time you were there. You have a sneaking suspicion that someone took her to get your blood sample.

Dialogue: Jenny's friends

Jenny Hise: Yeah, I got the blood sample. It wasn't easy, though.
Vortex Elite Assault: This blood will allow us to create an army modeled after Villain. We will be unstoppable.
Vortex Elite Archon: Lord Recluse once told me a great secret. He said that the secret of Cap au Diable is... Wait, did you hear that?

(aggroed)

Vortex Elite Assault: Ah. The floor model. Now we'll have all the blood we need.
Jenny Hise: Oh crap.
Vortex Elite Archon: You'll pay for your interference, Villain!

Local Thief Said to Be Witch

A little witch named Drusilla stole some kind of rare magical powder from a certain mage in Cap au Diable and then hired the (VillainGroup) to protect her.

Dialogue: Drusilla

VillainMinion: Tell us about this powder.
Drusilla: I don't know what the fuss is all about. It was just some weird powder from Mount Diable.
VillainBoss: Keep it quiet. We don't want anyone to know we're here.

(aggroed)

VillainMinion: Stay close. This will not take long.
Drusilla: Uh- oh.
VillainBoss: Excellent. All is as foretold. Now we witness the death of Villain.

Longbow Spy Spotted In Rogue Isles

A guy named RJ Nelson is snitching to Longbow. He's paid the Sky Raiders to protect him, and those losers agreed. That crap's gotta stop.

Long Lost Relic Recovered!

A secretary named Jesse Montoya just inherited a minor artifact long thought missing. The (VillainGroup) moved in quick and kidnapped her last night, but you have a pretty good idea where they likely took her.

Dialogue: The relic

VillainMinion: You have the Peregrine Pendant! I can smell it on you!
Jesse Montoya: This old necklace? Um, no. I didn't know it was magical.
VillainBoss: Sh! I heard something!

(aggroed)

VillainMinion: Don't move, girl! Or feel my wrath!
Jesse Montoya: What now?
VillainBoss: What a pleasant surprise, Villain. I've been wanting to kill you for some time.

Millionaire missing!

Guy Dylan is a playboy by day, but the villain known as Mercury by night. Most think he got busted by Longbow, but your sources say the Goldbrickers have him.

Dialogue: The Goldbrickers meet Mercury

Guy Dylan: You have no idea who you are messing with, idiot.
Rocketman: You're Mercury? I swear we didn't know! We were just after some of your industrial secrets. Sorry, Mr. Mercury! Very sorry!
Boomer: (bugged text)

(aggroed)

Rocketman: I told you this was a bad idea. At least Mercury doesn't have his power armor.
Guy Dylan: Villain. I'll reward you handsomely if you dispatch with these cretins and get me out of here.
Boomer: Villain. I heard you were dead. Or turned into a pile of sentient nanites under control of Doctor Aeon. I can't remember.

Morricone Inventions Set to Debut Nanotech

Giovani Morricone is a brilliant inventor who's been researching nanotech for years. Most villains won't touch him because he's got protection from Aeon, but if he's close to unveiling working nanotech, it might be worth grabbing him and his secrets after all.

Dialogue: Morricone's invention

VillainMinion: Brain hurts. Glfzork. Nerzatz. Pinyoo.
Giovani Morricone: Hear that buzzing in your ears? Heh heh. Too late, dolt. The nanites have infected your brain.
VillainBoss: I'll make this pigeon talk. Fetch me a comfortable chair. Trust me.

(aggroed)

VillainMinion: --
Giovani Morricone: You are MY servant now! Kill Villain!
VillainBoss: Villain. You're late. I expected you sooner.

Musician Missing

Larry Croft is a backup guitarist for Johnny Sonata in St. Martial. He went missing two days ago, which explains the weird music you've heard coming from a local (VillainGroup) hideout. Rescuing this loser would probably win you some points with Arachnos.

Dialogue: Larry and the mages

Archer: Why do the demons chase Sonata? How did he break his pact?
Larry Croft: Yeah. Johnny's in deep with the demons. He... Wait. You hear that?
Ruin Mage: Quiet. You never know who's listening around here.

(aggroed)

Archer: Don't move, Mr. Croft. We have guests. It shouldn't take long.
Larry Croft: Thank you, ROGUE ISLES! Rock out!
Ruin Mage: You'll pay for your interference, Villain!

(once you reach the exit)

Larry Croft: Look, let's work something out. You're a reasonable... Well, let's work something out anyways.
Larry Croft: How much to say you never found me?

Nigel Whitley Killed in Car Accident

Nigel Whitley is a famous occult novelist. He's not dead though. A friend of yours said he saw him being taken into one of the Hellion's hideouts the night of the crash. Whatever they want him for ought to be juicy.

Dialogue: Nigel Whitley kidnapped

Blood Brother Brawler: Tell us of this Guardian. Where did you get your information? Have you met the Shaper?
Nigel Whitley: I'm not telling you. I just made all that stuff up about a guardian buried under Sharkhead Isle. I'm just a hack writer, man! What do you want from me?
Damned: Quiet. You never know who is listening around here.

(aggroed)

Blood Brother Brawler: How did you find us, Villain? Our ruse was perfect!
Nigel Whitley: Hey! Villain! I'll pay you a lotta money to get me outta here alive!
Damned: Villain. We have been expecting you.

Nobel prize winner missing

Dr. Iliya Schevnisky wrote a Nobel-prize winning book on space travel. Looks like someone wanted her expertise. You'd love to find out why.

Dialogue: Dr. Schevenisky's discovery

VillainMinion: The Rikti aren't aliens?
Dr. Illia Schevenisky: The Rikti don't come from "outer space", you idiot. They come from a parallel universe.
VillainBoss: That's it? Are you sure that's all you know?

(aggroed)

VillainMinion: This is none of your concern, Villain. Leave or we will be forced to kill you.
Dr. Illia Schevenisky: Great. Another brainless supervillain.
VillainBoss: Villain! How did you find us? No matter. You'll pay for it now.

Obituary: Gav Turner, 1960 - 2005

Gav Turner was a prison guard at the Zig. Last night he was murdered by the (VillainGroup). That doesn't surprise you, but they took his daugther too. Why? Revenge? You have a hunch you should find out. Maybe she knows something.

Dialogue: what Turner knew

VillainMinion: Your father couldn't remember, but we know he told you. What was the prisoner's name?
Lila Turner: Okay, I'll tell you. Dad said his name was Carl Egon.
VillainBoss: Quiet. You never know who is listening around here.

(aggroed)

VillainMinion: Villain. So you seek the truth about Dr. Aeon as well? No? Then your interference is merely... entertaining.
Lila Turner: Now you're in trouble. And I hope it hurts.
VillainBoss: By Bat'Zul's beard, will no one rid me of this meddlesome villain?!

(once you reach the exit)

Lila Turner: Please don't do this. I've got kids. Well, not really, but I'd like to someday.

Obituary: Razorbeam, 1968 - 2005

Razorbeam was a high-tech villain who fired narrow 'slices' of light from his eyebeam. It was said they buried him with his eyebeam, but your sources say that's not true. While every other villain group stakes out the cemetery, you can find his daughter, who you think is about to step into her dad's boots.

Dialogue:

VillainMinion: All we want is your father's eyebeam, girl. You can keep the rest of that junk he created.
Razorbeam's daughter: It's mine. Touch me and die!
VillainBoss: Protect the package.

(aggroed)

VillainMinion: Back off, Villain. We were here first.
Razorbeam's daughter: Villain. Help me out here and I'll share some of daddy's tech with you.
VillainBoss: What a pleasant surprise, Villain. I've been wanting to kill you for some time.

Occult shop owner missing

The Tsoo are hiding someone. A man by the name of Alan Carter. It's said he knows a rare spell that certain contacts of yours might find interesting.

Dialogue: Carter's spell

Tiger Enforcer: Eye of what? Newt? Who has newts? Honestly, in this day and age...
Carter: You start with some Eye of Newt...
Iron Hands: Quiet. You never know who's listening around here.

(aggroed)

Tiger Enforcer: Get back. We'll handle this.
Carter: Oh, man. This is bad, isn't it?
Iron Hands: Protect Carter!

Pirate's Heart for Sale. $10k or Best Offer

Emma Jean Turley bought a small trinket at a pawn shop on Mercy Isle. Turns out this trinket has some powerful juju. She's been trying to sell it in the classifieds, but it looks like the (VillainGroup) got to her first.

Dialogue:

VillainMinion: That charm is a ward against demons, girl. Something very valuable in the Rogue Isles. Now where is it?
Emma Jean: That little charm? It's magical? News to me!
VillainBoss: What's the matter? Did you hear something?

(aggroed)

VillainMinion: I see we're not the only ones who want that charm.
Emma Jean: You can have it! I didn't know what I was buying!
VillainBoss: Villain! How did you find us? No matter. you'll pay for it now!

Prominent Attorney Missing

Several organizations made the mistake of trusting an attorney named Norman Washburn with their information. He's kept his bargain with the law, but seems to be selling secrets to his clients' rivals. This must not go unpunished. A coded ad in the paper reveals that the (VillainGroup) have him, and where they're located.

Dialogue: Mr. Washburn's info

VillainMinion: Tell us about Lady D'Arque. What is her true relationship with Dr. Aeon?
Norman Washburn: So the Hellions said to me...
VillainBoss: Keep your tongue still or I'll cut it out.

(aggroed)

VillainMinion: Stand back, Washburn. We are not finished with this conversation.
Norman Washburn: Protect me and I'll tell you the secret of Mount Diable!
VillainBoss: Villain. I heard you were dead.

(once you reach the exit)

Norman Washburn: So, what would it take for you to forget about all this?

Psychic aiding Circle of Thorns

The Circle of Thorns have a new friend known only as "Dizzy". An interview in the paper claims she has visions of the future. Arachnos would likely pay a hefty bounty if you were to bring her to them.

Dialogue:

VillainMinion: Tell me, girl! Who is it?
Dizzy: I see pain.
VillainBoss: Surely you know more than that, Dizzy.

(aggroed)

VillainMinion: Ah, Villain. We were told you were coming.
Dizzy: I knew this was gonna happen.
VillainBoss: Villain. We've been expecting you.

Realtor abducted by (VillainGroup)

The (VillainGroup) snatched a real state agent named Natalie Brooks. Why would they care about a Realtor? Something's fishier than Captain Mako here.

Dialogue

VillainMinion: Foolish girl. "Mr. Webb" is an alias for Arachnos agents. Now why did they purchase a building in Paragon City?
Natalie Brooks: Mr. Webb bought Lee Towers. That's all I know! Well, okay, there was some construction scheduled for the basement, but I don't know the details.
VillainBoss: Tell me more. Or else.

(aggroed)

VillainMinion: Villain. This is none of your affair. I recommend you leave. Now.
Natalie Brooks: Villain! I'll pay you to save me from these idiots! They think I know something about Arachnos!
VillainBoss: Stop Villain! This will ruin everything!

Silver Mantis' brother held hostage!

Those idiots the Trolls grabbed some random folks off the street recently. One of them happened to be the brother of Silver Mantis, Black Scorpion's squeeze. She wants him back.

Dialogue: Nathan kidnapped

Trollkin buckshot: You think anyone cares what happens to you?
Nathan: Do you know who my sister is?
Caliban: Quiet. You never know who is listening around here.

(aggroed)

Trollkin Buckshot: You Mantis' brother? This is most unfortunate.
Nathan: Oh, you guys made a big mistake. Silver Mantis must have sent Villain to rescue me! Ha ha! Losers!
Caliban: Villain! How did you find us? No matter. You'll pay for it now!

Sister of Luddite leader kidnapped!

Camille Henri is tied to the Luddites. You've heard rumors she's the sister of their leader, Martin Henri himself. The Trolls have her now, but if you took her from them you could sell her to the Luddite's enemies.

Dialogue Camille Henri and the Trolls

Trolkin Gunner: We know about your bloodline, girl.
Camille: Martin who? I don't know any Martin.
Ogre: Sh! I heard something!

(aggroed)

Trolkin Gunner: What business is this of yours, Villain?
Camille: Oh. THAT Martin. Now you're gonna get it, you creeps. My brother's gonna... wait. That's not my brother...
Ogre: What a pleasant surprise, Villain. I've been waiting to kill you for some time.

Witness to murder missing

The (VillainGroup) have agreed to protect a witness to a recent crime committed by Captain Mako. Your friends tell you the spiders will deposit a sizable chunk of change in your account if you can recover the witness and end this inconvenience.

Dialogue

VillainMinion: The price has gone up, girl. This is more heat than we bargained for.
Jenny Waltz: I'll pay you double what we agreed. Just keep that madman away from me!
VillainBoss: Quiet. You never know who is listening around here.

(aggroed)

Jenny Waltz: It is Mako! AAAAH! Oh...Whew...It's just Villain.
VillainMinion: It's Villain. This is bad and going to get worse.
VillainBoss: Protect Jenny Waltz!

WSPDR reporter missing after expose on you

Frank Gordon was doing an expose on you, but you didn't kill him. More likely one of your enemies grabbed him to find out everything he'd learned about you. And that really ticks you off. You'd best find Gordon and teach whoever took him that they messed with the wrong supervillain.

Dialogue

VillainMinion: Where does Villain lair?
Frank Gordon: I already showed you my notes.You know as much about Villain as I do. Now lemme go, please? I'll write a good history about you!
VillainBoss: Quiet. You never know who's listening over here.

(aggroed)

VillainMinion: Villain! This has worked out better than I had hoped. You've become a nuisance here.
Frank Gordon: Stop the presses!Take care of these losers, Villain, and I'll make sure you like my article!
VillainBoss: Stop Villain! This will ruin everything!

You are being sought by authorities

You got sloppy on your last job. Some geek was up late in the apartment next door playing online games all night. He saw what you did and ratted you out to Arachnos. The (VillainGroup) have him now and are trying to find out where you are. A quick trip to their local hideout should net you the snitch and reveal why these jerks are so interested in you.

Dialogue

VillainMinion: Tell us about Villain's powers. It is said this fool is one of Lord Recluse's chosen.
Joshua: I saw Villain. I already told Arachnos everything I saw. You want more, you gotta pay.
VillainBoss: Quiet. You never know who's listening around here.

(aggroed)

VillainMinion: Don't go anywhere. This won't take long.
Joshua: Oh. This is bad, isn't it?
VillainBoss: Villain. I heard you were dead.

You Are Dead!

That's news to you. The reporter here is Nellie Fine. Wonder what her angle is in making people think you're dead?

Dialogue: Ms. Fine's news

VillainMinion: Your expose of our operation was most troubling, Ms. Fine.
Nellie Fine: Don't hurt me.
VillainBoss: Lord Recluse once told me a great secret. He said that the secret of Cap au Diable is... Wait, did you hear that?

(aggroed)

VillainMinion: Villain. I heard you were dead.
Nellie Fine: Now you're in trouble. I planted that article to get Villain to come find me. Looks like it worked.
VillainBoss: Ack! You! What are you doing here?

You are on rampage!

It's nice to make the news, but Jake Limes, reporter for WSPDR, is getting on your nerves. He's making up lies about you and must be taught a lesson. The (VillainGroup) must be mad at him too because your sources say they've already jacked him off the street. That's fine. It gives you more skulls to bust.

Dialogues

VillainMinion: That's the last article you'll ever write, Limes.
Jake Limes: You can't silence the press, buddy. If you kill me, someone else will just take my place.
VillainBoss: Surely you know more than that, Jake Limes.

(aggroed)

VillainMinion: Villain! Back off! We had him first!
Jake Limes: Woohoo! A rescue! Oh, crap. It's you, Villain.
VillainBoss: Villain. We have been expecting you.

Boss Missions

In a boss mission, the object is to defeat a mob containing a named boss and his or her surrounding guards.

In these missions, basically, a random name from an enemy group in your level range is assigned to the mission, so, in practice, there could be a very high number of such missions. Because of this, I have used (VillainBoss) and (VillainGroup) instead of the actual names in the mission. The rest of the text is as it can be seen in the Protector.

Unlike other kinds of missions from the Protector, Boss missions don't introduce any magical artifacts nor experimental technologies, nor offer any clues about events happening somewhere else in the Rogue Isles, and the best they have is some funny dialogues the Bosses sometimes have.

Arachnos crackdown underway

Arachnos is on a crackdown against the (VillainGroup). Busting a few heads should earn you some brown points with the spiders.

Arachnos seeks (VillainBoss), leader of the local (VillainGroup) cell

Ah. Music to your ears. Arachnos is offering a bounty on this idiot. Taking down (VillainBoss) will be easy money.

Former Paragon Hero goes rogue

A former do-gooder named (VillainBoss) has decided crime does pay after all. He's taken off the cape and cowl and is working for (VillainGroup). It'd be great to "introduce yourself" to this former crusader and show him who runs these isles.

Legendary Villain of Paragon City comes to the Rogue Isles

(VillainBoss) is legendary? Since when? The last you heard about this two-bit punk he was stealing purses in Paragon City. The Rogue Isles are too crowded already. Time to send this jerk back to Capeville.

(VillainBoss) Calls You Out

Can you believe this jerk? He went to the press and called you out. Well if it's a fight he wants, it's a fight he'll get.

(VillainBoss) Rules Downtown!

Like spit he does. This ends now.

(VillainBoss) Spotted in Recent Heist!

Looks like a guy you did time with is now a leader in the (VillainGroup). You didn't like (VillainBoss) in the can, and you don't like him now.

(VillainBoss) Strikes Again

(VillainBoss) of the (VillainGroup) just hit a bank nearby. It's not hard to figure out where they are holed up. A quick trip and a little violence and you could nab the cash for yourself.

(VillainBoss) Strikes Again!

The paper is full of stories about (VillainBoss) of the (VillainGroup). Maybe it's time someone brought him down a peg.

(VillainBoss) Terrorizes Neighborhood!

(VillainBoss) of the (VillainGroup) has been getting a lot of press lately. You figure beating him like a dog in front of his own men ought to show everyone who runs this town.

(VillainBoss) Versus You

(VillainBoss) of the (VillainGroup) has called you out right in front of everyone. You'd best not let something like that slip.

(VillainBoss) wanted by Arachnos!

Hmmm. Beating (VillainBoss) into a little greasy spot is hardly worth your attention, but it might kill some time while you wait on something bigger.

(VillainGroup) Involved in Gang War

The (VillainGroup) made a powerful enemy lately. Bashing a few of their heads in might win you some point with their enemies.

(VillainGroup) Sought in Break-in

Some days it's good just to pick some random foe and beat the snot out of him. Keeps the rest of the villains in this town afraid of you. Tonight is the (VillainGroup)'s turn.

(VillainGroup) Terrorizes Neighborhood

They think (VillainBoss) is terrifying? Wait'll they get a load of you.

You Are In Hiding

The local rag thinks you've disappeared just because you haven't made any big noises lately. You should pick on someone. Say (VillainBoss) of the (VillainGroup), and remind folks you're still around.

You Are Selling Secrets to Longbow!

What the-- no way. Someone's setting you up with Arachnos. Someone who's gonna pay. Hard. Maybe if you put one of the (VillainGroup) in the morgue they'll learn not to spread lies about you.

Object Retrieval Missions

The object of an object retrieval mission is to locate the specified object in the mission and defeat any guards surrounding it.

In some cases the enemies you go against are randomly assigned and will be chosen from a group in your current level range. Whenever I have been able to identify such missions, I have used (VillainGroup) to reflect this. Still, the game seems to take into account the group's origin and so, the Sky Raiders, for example, won't be seen using magical artifacts, nor the Circle of Thorns will steal electromagnetic hyperaccelerators from hi-tech labs.

(BUG?: In this kind of missions the Clues seem to vanish as soon as you finish the mission, even before you exit the mission. So if you want to read the clues' text, make sure you do it before you do all of the mission's objectives.)

Aeon Corps hit by hackers

The (VillainGroup) have been hacking Aeon Corps' files from a remote location. You just happen to know where that remote location is. Get their codes and you can show them what "hacking" really means.

Clue
the hacker codes

NOGELARC. What kind of code is that? And why would it provide such an easy backdoor into Aeon Corps' mainframe? Ah, well. Who cares? You're getting paid and that's all that matters.

Aether slain in fight with (VillainGroup)

The (VillainGroup) just whacked a hero from Paragon, a hero called Aether known by his long white hair. A lock of the stuff should be worth a few bucks to his enemies. Good thing those teleporters aren't 100 percent reliable.

Clue
Aether's mane

Aether looks quite the worse for wear. Especially after you rip out a lock of the flowing white hair he was so proud of.

Another relic of Henri found

Martin Henri was the islands' first "cape" back in the 1600s. All his relics have serious mojo, and now the (VillainGroup) have his crucifix. You could easily steal it from them and fence it on the black market.

Clue
Henri's cross

This is the crucifix of the famous Father Martin Henri, who is said to have led the purge against the Children of Enos, and defeated the legendary demon of Cap au Diable.

Bank Gun used in LSSL breakin

Rumors of the Bank Gun have circulated for weeks. It's a one-shot weapon designed to take out bank vault doors with an electronic burst of data that overwhelms the electronics and forces the door to open itself. Somehow your friends the (VillainGroup) got one of these devices and you'd love to have it almost as much as you'd enjoy taking it from them.

Clue
the bank gun

An interesting idea, but it looks like the gun isn't currently functioning. Ah, well. It'll still be worth something to the right problems.

Black market on Henri's relics thriving

Father Martin Henri was something of the Rogue Isles' first superhero. He fought the ghosts at Port Oakes and the demon in Cap au Diable - if you believe in that stuff. A lot of folk claim his bones ward off evil to this day. You don't know about that, but you do know they' re worth a little money if you know the right buyers. The (VillainGroup) seem to have some of Henri's ivory for sale.

Clue
Henri's bones

There's no way these are actually Henri's bones. You are not even sure if they are human. Still, a buck's a buck, and some wide-eyed relic hunter probably won't know the difference.

Black Scorpion Offers Reward for Stolen Data Slug

There's a story here about Black Scorpion, one of Lord Recluse's lieutenants, looking for a 'stolen' data slug. He's something of a tech junkie, but he's also careless and more than a little stupid. Reading between the lines, you think he might have lost one of his power armor's data slugs. The information recorded on that storage device could be priceless.

Clue
Scorpion's RAM

It's a gig or two of information on a data storage device, including audio and video of Black Scorpion going about his daily routine. Definitively good blackmail material, and a quick buck.

Blackbeard's Tooth Purchased by Mysterious Buyer

A gold tooth belonging to Blackbeard himself, Edward Teach, was discovered in a long-lost chest. Such a relic is near-priceless, both financially and as an ingredient in certain magical rituals. Word on the street is that the (VillainGroup) bought it. Taking it from those losers shouldn't be too hard.

Clue
Blackbeard's tooth

The chest belonged to one of Blackbeard's mistresses long ago. Inside were personal letters, old rags, and, as promised, Blackbeard's gold tooth.

Break In at Otto's Occult Shop!

The (VillainGroup) boosted a load of magic goodies from an occult shop downtown. It's unclear what they took but you could probably appropriate their haul before the owner of the shop manages to cast some nasty spell to find them and takes it back.

Clue
The Magical Bits

Hmm. Weird bits of animals, old pages you can't read, and is that a tongue? Great. At least your fence will know what to do with it.

Break in at Portal Corp. Security guards hospitalized

The (VillainGroup) stole a new microchip prototype from Portal Corp a few days ago. If you were to take it from them, it'd be easy to sell on the black market.

Clue
The Microchip

The chip is labeled "tp jammer". Wonder what it's supposed to jam. Toilet paper? Cruel, but hardly effective.

Break In at Crey Corp!

The (VillainGroup) hit a Crey facility last night. Something about a high-tech neural scrambler. Might be a good idea to boost it before Crey gets it back.

Clue
the neural scrambler

Looks like a high-tech egg-beater to you.

Cap au Diable museum plundered!

The (VillainGroup) pulled a museum job the other night. You don't know what they nabbed, but figure it's gotta be worth something. What are they gonna do if you take it from them anyway, call the cops?

Clue
the mysterious museum piece

Hmmm. Just some old rusty blades. Maybe these were pirate weapons or something. The Rogue Isles were full of them a few centuries back.

Cooke Electronics burglarized!

The (VillainGroup) just stole some gizmos from Cooke Electronics. Nothing spectacular, but worth a few bucks with the right contacts. And of course, you have the right contacts.

Clue
the gizmos

Wireless ethernet cards, copies of some superhero MMO (as if!) and a couple of new graphics cards. Not a bad haul, considering.

Croatian Government demands Rogue Isles hand over fleeing felons

A crook working for the (VillainGroup) stole a "leshy corpse" from a musseum in Russia. Baltic legends say these creepy little faeries like to lead folks astray in their woods, wiping out trails, changing things around, and so on. Their remains can be used in spells that confuse and misdirect, so you can make a few bucks off certain magic-oriented contacts of yours if you can swipe it.

Clue
The Leshy corpse

This is disgusting. It looks like some kind of naked pygmy with blue skin and green hair and eyes and smells like rotten eggs.

Crown of Enos Taken From Aeon Museum of Antiquities!

One story tells of an ancient relic called the Crown of Enos, an artifact of the weird cult that discovered these isles. It was on display in Cap au Diable, but it was stolen last week. From the description of the attack, you're betting it was the (VillainGroup). Those guys are pushovers from someone like you.

Clue
The Crown of Enos

The old crown hums with arcane energy. You put it on your head and...nothing. Ah, well. It's the black market for this trinket.

Dagger of Erishkigel stolen!

A recent Sumerian exhibit featured the "Dagger of Erishkigel". That unpronounceable name was the god of the underworld in ancient Sumeria. There has long been talk that anyone slain by the dagger cannot be resurrected. That's a incredibly handy ability in an age where half the capes in Paragon City can bring their friends back from the dead. The (VillainGroup) are probably behind the theft.

Clue
the dagger of Erishkigel

The blade feels heavy in your hand. Visions of demons and ancient ziggurats dance in your mind. You feel a dark and malevolent presence creeping into your mind. You put the dagger to your own throat and --WHOA! Perhaps this relic is too powerful for you just yet. Best just to sell it to some chump and let him deal with this insanity.

Enigmatic killed in Rogue Isles; teleporter malfunctioned

Enigmatic was a cape from Paragon. Not much of one, but a cape nonetheless. You happen to know Captain Mako collects the teeths of slain heroes. If you can get one of Enigmatic's, it would gain you a few brownie points with one of Lord Recluse's lieutenants. Of course the (VillainGroup) still have the hero's body, but taking it from them should be half the fun anyways.

Clue
Enigmatic's tooth

Yuk. Gruesome. The things you'll do for a few bucks.

Event Horizon said to foretell future!

The Event Horizon is a rare jewel that predicts major events. On its own, it's not particularly useful. It's really valuable to Arachnos, though, because it can confirm any visions made by their Fortunatas. Some spider-queen dreams Statesman is coming for Recluse, for example, and the gem pulses red. That's worth big bucks to the spiders. The (VillainGroup) swiped it last night, but you know where they're hidden.

Clue
Event Horizon

It's an odd crystal with a thin violet line running through the middle. You have no idea how to read it, but there's a large "spike", like on a heart monitor, a few milimeters to the right. Does that mean some major event is coming soon?

Famous painting missing

The Painter was a famous supervillain who could paint a location and then use the painting to teleport there. Someone stole his painting of a building in Paragon City called Lee Towers. You've no idea why, but the heist has the (VillainGroup)'s fingerprints all over it.

Clue
the Painting of Lee Towers

It's a painting of Lee Towers in Paragon City. You don't know how to use the painting to get there, and it's not a particularly good piece. You wonder why these losers wanted it so bad.

For Sale: Rare Mandrake Roots

A lot of sorcerers use a rare plant called the mandrake root. The (VillainGroup) have some and you just happen to know a buyer.

Clue
The Mandrake Root

It's said this man-shaped root screams when torn from the earth. Fortunately, this one's already been yanked for you.

(VillainGroup) hit several high tech firms in Rogue Isles and Paragon City

The (VillainGroup)have been gathering information lately on high-tech firms. You suspect they're about to build some kind of new device from the collective parts. You want to know what their plans are so you can decide if you want to use it or sell it.

Clue
the data

Hmmm. They've been gathering info on companies researching orbital lasers and satellite positioning systems. Could be they're looking to pull the classic blackmail routine on Paragon City. Not that you care, but you'd rather make a profit off their research than set back and read about it in the papers.

Fyrewyre virus slams Rogue Isles

The (VillainGroup) unleashed a nasty email virus on the Rogue Isles in a classic blackmail scam. You just happen to know where one of their labs is. If you can fight your way to their computer system, you can copy the virus' source code and sell it for a bundle.

Clue
The FyreWyre Virus

That was easy. Selling a disk is a lot easier than selling a priceless work of art or painting. And you can sell it over and over again.

Gang activity decreases

You like knowing what everyone is up to, and the (VillainGroup) have been unusually tight-lipped lately. You decide to do a little information gathering by breaking into one of their hideouts you know about and seeing what they're up to. It won't hurt to smash a few heads while you're there to keep them humble.

Clue
the plans

Their lull seems to have more to do with getting smashed by mugs like you more than any grand scheme. You find a long list of their gang's names - all coded, no doubt - with lines through them.

Gas prices rise

Someone has placed a hidden message in your latest copy of the newspaper. It reads: Once upon a time there was a design for a computer that could actually interface with Rikti tech. It was scrapped when the fools couldn't figure out how to make it work, but a certain white-haired genius in Cap au Diable would like to see how far they got. Break in to the (VillainGroup) hideout, find the prototype, and you'll be well-rewarded.

Clue
the Rikti interface

Hmmm. An impressive piece of electronic engineering. Still, you bet the guy who came up with it can't set the clock on his DVD player.

Golden Tortuga vanishes from gallery

Here's a weird one for you. The (VillainGroup) have been fencing works of art lately. One of them is the Golden Tortuga. It should be crated up for sale in one of their warehouses. The picture shows a golden turtle. Ugly as Statesman's face, but gold is gold after all.

Clue
the Golden Tortuga

It looks like a gold-plated turtle shell to you. Its artistic value is dubious, but gold is gold.

Harbinger of Doom foretold!

Seems an Arachnos Fortunata has foreseen that a talisman taken from a recent museum heist is an omen of doom for the Rogue Isles. Unfortunately, her vision doesen't say who has it. You just happen to know the (VillainGroup) got hold of something like that just last week, and you know where they're holding it.

Clue
the Talisman of Doom

It's a statue of Tisiphone, one of the ancient Furies of the Greek legends. The legends say they were placed on Earth to torment evil-doers. Maybe there was something to the Fortunata's vision, after all. But what could it mean? You phone this one in and let Arachnos come get it. Best not to touch something like this.

Johnny Sonata Demo Reel Mission

The famous Johnny Sonata sings at the Golden Giza in St. Martial. Whether you like his music or not, someone got a studio cut of his new CD and it's worth a fortune to music pirates. A friend of yours mentioned the (VillainGroup) might be the ones responsible. Time to pay them a visit and see if they sing.

Clue
the Sonata CD

The moment you place your hands on the CD you see smoke. To your amazement, the thing bursts into flames and crumbles to ash. What the devil was THAT about?

L'Ollonais Blade Stolen From Private Collection

The (VillainGroup) have L'Ollonais' saber, the blade of a particularly nasty pirate who prowled these waters in the 1700's. It's worth a lot of cash if you think you're tough enough to take it from them.

Clue
L'Olonnais sabre

L'Olonnais was one of the cruelest pirates ever to sail these waters. He once cut the heart out of one prisoner and forced another to eat it.
Perhaps with this very blade.

Library Robbed, Rare Books Missing

The (VillainGroup) just came into possession of some magic books that you could sell for a few grand.

Clue
magic books

Hmm. Some weird stuff. A manuscript by Crowley, the "Chaos Cook Book", "How to Serve Man". Neat stuff.

Local Paleontologist Finds Mythical Roc!

Professor Jack Mills is a paleontologist who specializes in hunting supposedly mythical creatures. This article talks about him finding the carcass of a roc. Oddly enough, word on the street is that the (VillainGroup) just came into possession of a roc's talon. They must be financing Mill's trip for some reason. Whatever. Such a relic must be worth a fortune on the magical black market.

Clue
The Roc's Talon

Wow. That is one big claw. You'd hate to imagine the bird this sucker came from.

Local satellite signals jammed, residents claim (VillainGroup) responsible

The (VillainGroup) seem to have a toy that lets them intercept and decode satellite signals. That would be quite handy for tracking one's enemies.

Clue
the interceptor

This thing weights a ton. But you'll manage.

Lost: Cell Phone. Please Contact 555-8543 And Ask For Charles

Charles Lavigne is a go-between for Arachnos and the local gangs. He lost his cell phone recently when negotiating with the (VillainGroup). If you can find it, you can probably dig up some numbers and other contact info that would be very profitable.

Clue
Lavigne's cell phone

Nice! Levigne has Captain Mako on speed dial! You give the mutant a ring and hear a raspy voice say, 'Whattya want, Charlie? Hello? Charlie? This ain't Charlie! Whoever dis is is in big trouble! I'll kill ya! I'll worse than kill ya! I'll rend you limb from limb you squid-loving piece of--' You wisely hang up before Mako somehow finds out who you are.

Lost: Small 3 Oz Box Marked 'Webb'

What weighs three ounces and comes in a box? You have no idea, but the (VillainGroup) stole it so it must be worth something.

Clue
the mysterious box

In the box is a human finger. Maybe they wanted it for the DNA. Hmmm. Wonder who "Webb" is?

(VillainGroup) battle Arachnos in streets

The (VillainGroup) have been working on new weapons you think you could dump for a few bucks. Should be a simple smash and grab.

Clue
The secret weapon tech

Looks like some kind of neural disruptor. You pull the trigger but nothing happens. Stupid prototypes.

(VillainGroup) seen capturing Coralax

The (VillainGroup) have been doing some research. something about coral from those freaks you find on the beaches. Some friends of yours would pay handsomely to find out what they've discovered. Of course, the (VillainGroup) aren't likely to share without a little...persuasion.

Clue
The coral research

Little pieces of coral on slides or in petri dishes. How exciting. You spit on one just to screw up the egghead who analyzes it.

(VillainGroup) create new alloy

The (VillainGroup) are working on a new metal that weights half as much as steel but is twice as strong. Steal some steel and see who's interested in buying it.

Clue
the steel sample

Hey, it is pretty light. Though, too. You can definitively see some uses for this.

New Research Shows MMOs Are Good for You

A message has been inserted into your newspaper. It reads: When Captain Mako tore apart Scrapyard a few years back, he suffered more than a few hits from the hero's hammer. One of his teeth got knocked out and a local wharf rat grabbed it and sold it to the (VillainGroup). Mako wants his tooth back, and thinks you're the guy to fetch it. I highly recommend you complete this little errand for us. Mako isn't exactly a patient fellow.

Clue
Mako's tooth

That is one big freaking tooth. You'd hate to feel a mouthful of these.

Obituary: Thomas Pyle, 1920 - 2005

According to your sources, Pyle was a reporter during World War II. He mostly worked the Italian front. For some reason, the moment his name surfaced in the paper a bunch of creeps from the (VillainGroup) raided his house. They took something and told the surviving family to keep quiet or they'd be back. But you found out about it, and you want to know what they were after.

Clue
Pyle's keepsakes

The box is full of keepsakes from a reporter who served in WWII. He died recently and these notes were discovered by his grandson. In it is an interview with none other than Lord Recluse himself, and a note on the side that says 'Stefan Richter.' Could that be Recluse's real name?

Pirate Silver rumored to be worth millions!

You've heard of Long John Silver, but some lucky stiff found Long John's "silver" in a chest full of pirate treasure. The (VillainGroup) stole some of it and made the mistake of bragging about it. They're just asking for it to be stolen.

Clue
Long John's silver

Doubloons, ingots, and pieces o'eight. It doesen't get any better than this.

Pride of Athens sinks, all hands lost

Buried after the sob story of the ship sinking is a note that the freighter was carrying a number of exhibits on loan from Greece. It's likely one of your rivals sank the ship and made off with it. The smart money is on the (Villain group). They have been known to pull this stunt before.

Clue
The Pride of Athens's cargo

There's some nice stuff here. Urns with ancient pictures, a spearhead, and even some diamond-studded toga clasps.

Rare samples of Formula 13 hijacked from docks

Formula 13. You've heard rumors about it. Some say it gives you super strength. Some say it lets you walk through walls. Some say it simply unlocks whatever mutations you already have. You just know it's worth a fortune. Your dear friends the (VillainGroup) seem to have some. For now.

Clue
Formula 13

Formula 13 might be potent, but it smells like sweat socks.

Residents claim (VillainGroup) operating somewhere in neighborhood

The (VillainGroup) have been getting under your skin lately. This lead would let you raid one of their bases and get a list of their stooges. Then you can think about wiping out the whole lot. Best get there quick before they vacate.

Clue
the membership list

Hey! Your favorite high school teacher has joined the bad guys. Guess he was right when he said you didn't play well with others.

Reward offered by the Void

The (VillainGroup) jacked a load of reagents - materials used by arcane types - from a prominent spellcaster named The Void. Looks like he's offering a reward if they're returned - along with the blood and souls of those who violated his inner sanctum. Can't hurt to have a genuine wizard owing you a favor.

Clue
the reagents

Eye of newt. Wing of bat. Yeah, this will be worth a fortune. Not. You could have found better junk in the trash.

Roses fail to bloom in Winter

A source contacts you via coded message in the Rogue Isles Protector. She wants some information off one of the (VillainGroup)' computers. She's offering a generous reward if you take the job.

Clue
The files

Looks like electrical readings from Cap au Diable. What could be so important about that? Hmmm. Looks like there are weird spikes every 666 seconds.

Sea Creatures Attack Ships Off Rogue Isles

The (VillainGroup) have been using a rare artifact called the Sea Lute. It gives the user control over certain sea creatures if you know how to play it. You don't care so much about that, but would sure like to sell it to those who do.

Clue
the Sea Lute

The Sea Lute is an actual instrument, though it looks as if it were carved from coral. You play it, but hear only low, mournful sounds--like that of dying whales. The music gives you a creepy feeling. Like you just stepped in dead fish.

Shipment of Uncut Gems Hijacked by (VillainGroup)

Diamonds. The Mooks just stole some. These impure stones aren't particularly valuable in the traditional sense, but they're near priceless for things like lasers and other death rays. And you know how your friends here in the isles like to build their death rays. Bogart the gems and you'll make a fortune the next time you hear of a mad scientist with a doomsday device in need of crystals.

Clue
the diamonds

Hello, beauties. These diamonds are huge. Flawed, but huge. You gotta think they'd look better as bling than powering some oversized doomsday device though.

(VillainGroup) steal Isis' Staff from Aeon Museum!

The Museum had an Egyptian display that included what some said was Isis' staff. The gnarled old stick was probably just a 4000-years old walking cane, but as long as someone thinks it's valuable, it is valuable. It should fetch a good price on the black market. And if it really is the staff of the Egyptian goddess, maybe you can use its powers for yourself.

Clue
Isis' staff

Yup. About what you figured. If Isis used this staff it was to hobble around in her old age.

(VillainGroup) steal Maria's Tears

Hmmm. Maria's Tears are a relic of the Children of Enos, the cult that founded the isles in the 1600. Though few know their history, it's likely they possess at least some minor enchantments. After a quick call to your contacts, it turns out the (VillainGroup) took them from a local pawn shop. Too bad. For them.

Clue
Maria's Tears

The story goes that a girl named Maria was the last of the Children of Enos taken from the islands by the French. Supposedly, her tears fell to the ground in Cap au Diable and turned to diamonds. If that was true you'd be making a lot more little girls cry.

(VillainGroup) rob jewelry shop

The (VillainGroup) hit the local jewelry store, all right, but they let a lot of expensive stuff behind. Looks like they were after something in particular and wanted to cover their tracks. Your sources say the store recently purchased a weird red gem. It could be the Blood Ruby, a rock said to give its possessor a horrible curse. You don't want the curse, but you'd sure like to send it as a present to certain capes in Paragon City.

Clue
the Blood Ruby

Hmmm. It's red and it's a ruby and it makes you feel weak when you hold it. Best to send this sucker to a cape and see what happens. Or maybe sell it to one of the Rogue Isles' major players. They'd probably pay big money for something like this.

Superslug Storage Device to be Patented

One of the (VillainGroup) happens to be an inventor. He created some kind of new storage device they call a 'superslug'. Word is it's patentable. You could crush this little Dr. Peabody's dreams by taking his prototypes and plans and selling them to a rival. It isn't nice, but neither are you.

Clue
the plans

It's a complicated schematic. There don't seem to be any prototypes of the device around.

The Painter found murdered!

The Painter is a magical thief who paints scenes --say of like a bank-- and then somehow uses it to actually teleport to that location. He was found dead last night, and the MO suggests that the (VillainGroup) is responsible. Maybe they think they can backwards engineer the Painter's secrets with one of his paintings. Maybe you can too.

Clue
the painting

The painting is much smaller than you imagined. And not very good. Whatever juice the Painter had must be his--not the painting's.

The Phylectery of Alecto Discovered!

Alecto was one of the mythical furies of Ancient Greece, sent to earth to torment evil-doers. Some archaeologist just found a jar full of juice with pictures of Alecto on it and swears it's some sort of magic 'hero-making' potion. Of course, making an announcement like that is trouble, and the (VillainGroup) already nabbed it. Nab it back and it'd likely be worth a fortune.

Clue
The Phylactery of Alecto

Hah! The urn is cracked. There isn't a drop of mumbo-jumbo-juice left.

Tome of Hequat stolen!

Hmmm. A magic book. Those always bring a good price with your fence, or might prove useful for your own studies. Clues at the scene lead you to believe the (VillainGroup) took it. Time to pay them a little visit.

Clue
the tome of Hequat

The old leatherbound book contains numerous spells and incarnations, but none that seem to serve your nefarious purpose.

The (VillainGroup) Steal Claw of Doom!

The (VillainGroup) broke into a sorcerer's house and took the Claw of Doom, an ancient relic said to be used in certain rituals of death magic. You could recover it and see if you can use it for yourself, or fence it for a quick bundle.

Clue
the Claw of Doom

This nasty claw was locked up tight. Looks like it came from a demon or something. You shake it a few times but none of the locals drop dead. How disappointing.

(VillainGroup) steal Blue Oyster from local collection!

The cult that settled these islands had a relic called the Blue Oyster. You don't know what it does, but a few of the mystical-minded around here have offered a reward for it.

Clue
the Blue Oyster

The Blue Oyster was once used by the Children of Enos to summon some dark sea god from the depths. Doesn't look like it's got much mojo now. Or maybe you just don't know the right mumbo-jumbo.

Tulips bloom at midnight

Information. That's the most valuable resource of all. Seems the (VillainGroup) have stumbled onto some very valuable knowledge , but they don't know it yet. They moved into an old hideout and found where someone had been making fake IDs a while back. A contact of yours has coded a secret message into an article telling you they actually have the real ID cards the clients had thrown away. One of them in particular is worth something, but your source won't say why. Fetch it and he'll let you in on the secret.

Clue
Egon's ID

Carl Egon. Hmmm. You call your contact and he says only that he was some crazed inventor who kept burning down his labs a few years back. You're about to make him tell you more when the line suddenly goes dead.

Vigilantes from Paragon invade Rogue Isles!

The (VillainGroup) recently tussled with some capes from Paragon City over a powerful artifact called the Crystal of Serafina. The capes won the fight - they always do - but word on the street is that the (VillainGroup) made off with a small shard of it. If they're still beat up, it shouldn't be too hard to take it from them.

Clue
the Shard of Serafina

This tiny silver of crystal must be it. You can feel it pulsing with eldritch energy.

(VillainGroup) flee wrath of Croatoans

The (VillainGroup) mugged an actual, broomstick-riding witch up north of Paragon City somewhere. Took her charms and everything. That stuff's gotta be worth something. Best find these losers before the witch does.

Clue
the witch's charms

Hmm. Tinny little bones on a leather strap, some bat's wings, and bottle of frogs. Nice. Must have some purpose, but you're not sure what. Somebody somewhere will buy'em though. They always do.

(VillainGroup) hit stone group in Paragon, flee to Rogue Isles

A bunch of jokers from (VillainGroup) hit a high-tech research firm in Paragon City, then came back here to sell whatever they took. It shouldn't be too hard to take it from them before they find a buyer and sell it yourself.

Clue
unknown tech

Interesting. It's a package full of very common chips, like you might find in alarm clocks, cell phones and so on. Obviously someone has plans to alter them for some more nefarious purpose.

(Villaingroup) implicated in break in

What's worse than a cape? A sloppy thief. The (VillainGroup) broke into a warehouse and made off with a truckload of ancient Sumerian treasures. You're sure you know where they're keeping the goods, so it'd be a breeze to take it from them.

Clue
The Sumerian relics

Urns, pots and a couple of bronze weapons. You don't sense mystical mojo in anything, so it's best to just sell them off before the original owner follows the trail to you.

(VillainGroup) seen testing new parabolic recorders

Information is often more valuable than gold. The (VillainGroup) just happen to have eavesdropped on certain officials of Arachnos. You'd bet your next hangover lasts longer than these guys once Arachnos finds out what they did. You figure you can profit off their misfortune by grabbing their tapes, selling whatever's on them, and then washing your hands of the whole thing before Arachnos finds out.

Clue
the audio tapes

It's best not to play it. You can always deny having heard it, but those creepy Fortunatas seem to be able to read minds, so you decide just to sell the thing and be rid of it.

Wanted: expert in deciphering old maps. Lucrative pay, short hours

There's an interesting tibdit in the Want Ads. The (Villaingroup) have a treasure map they can't seem to decipher. Perhaps you could show them what " sixteen men on a dead man's chest " really means and keep the treasure for yourself.

Clue
the treasure map

There's no way this map is real. The islands it refers to don't even exist. Ah well. Maybe your broker can still sell it to some newb for the price of a dinner at least.

(VillainGroup) dominate in spectacular battle

The (VillainGroup) are on a roll. Smashing their enemies and knocking capes around like school kids. Word is they've been processing a new form of Superadine that helps them fight without any of the side effects. A sample would be worth a fortune.

Clue
the Superadine derivative

Looks like the same old junk to you.

Weird Sounds Heard in City

Ah. You heard something about this. The (VillainGroup) were working on a 'Doomsday Device.' Something about lethal sonic waves. Those creeps are testing it out here in the Rogue Isles instead of Paragon. It would be a good idea to take it from them--both to keep it from killing you and to keep it or sell it for yourself.

Clue
the sonic device

It's some sort of sonic projector. If hooked to an amplifier of some sort, it could devastate several blocks. It doesn't look stable, though, so it's best to just sell it to someone a little higher up on the food chain.

Witnesses claim (VillainGroup) used new secret weapon in recent attack

The Mooks developed some new weapon tech. They've already done some marketing for you, now it's up to you to handle "procurement".

Clue
the weird weapon

Ah, a Rikti weapon. Not truly experimental tech, but it should fetch a few bucks at least.

You Steal Ancient Gemstones

What? Someone has framed you. Not that you wouldn't have pulled the job, but this also means whoever set you up has a big bag of fat loot. Shouldn't take you long to track the imposter down though.

Clue
the gemstones

A handful of blue stones with what look like little eyes inside. Creepy.

Heists

Before Issue 7, Heist were in the place where the Mayhem Missions are today. To do a successful Heist, reach the bank vault, take the money and then defeat the security to escape with the cash.

Unlike other kinds of missions in the Protector, Heists usually take place in customized mission maps, some of them spectacular.

Compared to the other kinds of missions, Heist Missions are uncommon to find in the Protector.

(DOORS: Since the Mayhem Missions were added in I7 and took the place of the Heists, these were moved to the regular pool of missions of the Rogue Isles Protector. Thus, the bank door is randomly assigned, like in any other mission, and the entrance to the bank may be a warehouse, a sewer, a ruined building and even a cave. Despite the carelessly random placement of the door, the rest of the Heist mission works, so far, perfectly.)

Mercy Island bank denies security problems!

(Zone: Mercy Island)

Now there's a bank in that needs robbing. You'd better do it before someone else does.

Security there is so shaky you paid some local gangers to drop off some briefcases full of explosives, and the guards didn't even notice.

Get in, get the loot. Then get out.

Mission Objective(s)

  • Get the loot
    • Defeat security to escape
Clue
Loot

You walked away with over half a million dollars. Not a bad haul.

Nothing like felony larceny to make a day complete. And the stolen money helps, too.

Tiki Casino holding gems!

(Zone: Mercy Island)

Larry's Tiki Lounge

Briefing

Looks like a new high roller recently arrived at Larry's Tiki Lounge, and she's asked for the house to hold onto her valuables while she's spending her money around. That means that there's a safe in there with some serious gems, and security will have its attention split.

Lady Luck's gonna to smile on you today, or else.

The high roller's gems are in the house safe. Find them and they are yours.

Mission Objective(s)

  • Get the gems
    • Defeat security to escape


Clue
The high roller's gems

A lady ought to know better to trust Larry to care for her valuables. You've made off with a number of rings, a ruby brooch, and a diamond necklace worth a ton just on its own.

You've got a fence to move this stuff through, and even after his cut, it's still a nice amount of cash.

Local bank business booming!

(Zone: Cap au Diable)

Briefing

Looks like the local 22nd bank is the place for a bad guy to make some quick cash and you know a dirty cop who just might be able to help you pull off the job

This may be a tough one. Fortunately, you know a dirty cop who'll be working security there today. He should be able to help you out.

Your guy on the inside should be close.

Mission objectives

  • Get the loot
    • Defeat security to escape

Notable NPCs

  • RIP (minion, NPC ally)
Clue
Loot

Cash, bullion, stocks and bonds. Not a bad haul.

It was a pretty good haul even after paying off the stooge. Not bad for a dishonest day's work.

Big spenders spotted at the speakeasy!

(Zone: Cap au Diable)

Briefing

The speakeasy

There's a speakeasy in the rough area of town that's been making a killing. They like to keep their action quiet, but they can't keep it quiet when someone walks in and loses half a million. You've also heard that their security isn't up to protecting that kind of money. Sounds like easy pickings.

This is strictly a bootstrap operation: a few tables, a few dealers. But they know how to keep the money rolling, and you know how to take it.

Easy pickings indeed

Mission objectives

  • Rob the speakeasy
    • Defeat security to escape
Clue
The loot

The little speakeasy you robbed likes to keep a low profile; not a bad policy in the Rogue Isles. Lucky for you, money has a way of making itself heard.

That place doesn't look like much, but it ought to keep you in the money for a while

Chum Bucket sees brisk business

(Zone: Sharkhead Isle)

Briefing

The Chum Bucket

The Chum Bucket. Everyone knows it. It's Mako's own personal casino. Security's light for the kind of money they have on hand because no one's got the guts to knock over that place. That is, no one but you.

Who cares what Mako thinks? He understands the law of the seas. If you can seize it, it's yours! But you'd better take out all the guards, just to be safe.

Taking on Mako's casino isn't an easy job. Still, it's one that suits you.

Mission objectives:

  • Defeat all security
    • Rob the safe


Clue
The cash

Mako's casino, the Chum Bucket, runs a very liquid business. You managed to get away with as much cash as you can carry.

No one was standing when you left with the loot. Chances are, Mako will actually approve because of that. Word is he likes a vicious villain.

22nd National To Upgrade Security Systems!

(Zone: Sharkhead Isle)

Briefing

Now would be the perfect time to hit the 22nd National, right while they're in the middle of a security upgrade.

To add to the chaos, you had some people stop by the LSSL earlier to leave a few surprises. Powerful explosives. Now you can use them to distract the guards.

Mission Objective(s)

This is going to be fun.

  • Get the loot

Nice pay day. For you, anyway.

22nd National Bank using Consortium Guards for extra security!

(Zone: Sharkhead Isle, Nerva Archipelago)

Briefing

That makes sense. Kirk Cage himself keeps some accounts at the 22nd National. Word on the street is that he keeps a bunch of loot there for tax reasons. And if they've got Cage Consortium guards on watch, that means Mr. Cage has just made a deposit. That's what they call an opportunity.

The Consortium guards can be tough, but this could be worth it.

Mission Objective(s)

Going up against one of Shakhead's most powerful men isn't something to be taken lightly. Cage'll be furious when he finds out you've robbed him.

  • Get the loot
    • Defeat security to escape
Clue
The loot

Kirk Cage definitely banks here. You've managed to walk away with an armload of cash and a ton of Cage Consortium stock certificates.

Even if Kirk Cage finds out who took his money, what's he gonna do about it? You already showed him what you'd do to his guards!

Big party at Longbow's Officer Club!

(Zone: Nerva Archipelago)

Longbow's Officers Club

Briefing

Those Longbow louts are probably partying it up at the Officer's Club. They're all probably patting each other on the back for upholding justice and the law. The jerks. They probably think they're safe there. They'd never expect someone to rob them during their big party. Hey...now that's an idea.

Longbow will never know what hit 'em! Heh.

Longbow has to provide its own protection within the Rogue Isles; none of the local authorities will bat an eyelash over this heist.

Mission Objective(s)

  • Rob the Officers' Club
    • Rob the safe
    • Defeat security to escape
Clue
Longbow's Loot

Something about stealing from Longbow feels good.

Longbow thought they were safe, until you showed 'em how it works in the Rogue Isles

LSSL has busiest month ever!

(Zone: Nerva Archipelago)

Briefing

There are people on St. Martial who are crawling in dough, and plenty of them bank over at the LSSL. Villainy requires money, and getting a day job is out of the question. It's time to help them share the wealth.

Hopefully this won't take too long. You've got evil to do.

It's pay day

Mission Objective(s)

  • Get the loot

Nothing makes doing evil easier like having piles of cash.

Multiple small casinos deposit big money with LSSL!

(Zone: Nerva Archipelago)

The LSSL will have to sit on that money for a while. Too bad for everyone else that you know a dirty cop who's working that detail. It's time to cash in.

The dirty cop's name is Buckley. He'll help you out. Or else.

Buckley should be waiting just inside the lobby

Mission Objective(s)

  • Get the loot
    • Defeat security to escape

Notable NPCs

  • RIP (minion, NPC ally)
Clue
Loot

Burke was right about the bank's finacial situation. Thanks to his diligence, you cleared a pretty good haul.

Buckley did right by you. Just goes to show the importance of knowing the local police force.

Lucky Six, small casino but big profit!

(Zone: St. Martial)

The Lucky Six

Briefing

You know the Lucky Six. They don't pull in the crows like the Giza does, but they do a steady business for the small time rollers. All those small time bets add up to big time money. Time to cash in.

This would be a good time to strike. They'll be making a big deposit soon, so right now their safe should be full of cash.

Today could be your lucky day.

Mission Objective(s)

  • Get the loot
    • Rob the safe
    • Defeat security to escape

You knew this was going to be a lucky day. Well, lucky for you, not so much for the Lucky Six.

LSSL hires new security firm!

(Zone: St. Martial)

Briefing

You know that security company the LSSL just hired. You were in the Zig with one of the guys who works for them. Time to call in a favor.

The guy's name is Freddy, and he owes you, big-time. He'll help you out.

If this goes to plan, it'll be easy money? If not, a lot of people will get hurt.

Mission Objective(s)

  • Get the loot

Notable NPCs

  • RIP (minion, NPC ally)

LSSL exchanging old bills for new ones!

(Zone: St. Martial)

Anytime a bank does a bill exchange to rotate out old money, the clued-in criminals know that it's an opportunity. Time to help them recycle.

The guards better watch out for you.

Time to make a withdrawal

Mission Objective(s)

  • Get the loot
    • Defeat security to escape
Clue
Loot

You've got enough money to fund any nefarious scheme for a good chunk of time. A good day's haul.

So what if the bills are old and funky? Money's still money, and money is its own kind of beautiful.

See Also